Death, it happens everyday and everywhere. The thought of it didn’t really have any impact on me until I found out that a friend from primary had just past away. We’re not close. But to think that she slipped away at the young age of nineteen, it really scares me. The thoughts sank into me.
Without the future lay out printed on a long sheet of paper, I don’t know when I will stop breathing. I don’t want to die early. Neither would I want doomsday to hit us anytime soon. I’m tie down by the current commitments. I have yet to see how beautiful Earth is before heading Mars. I have yet to carve my name in the advertising industry with mind blowing ideas. I have yet to get myself to star in a comedy show. So many things I wish to do. But what if death were to occur to me tomorrow? All my aspirations would fade away just as my breath slowly dies.
And recently, my friends have been telling me about this blog on this soldier, who was serving his National Service term, past away when he was pushing against his limits in one of the military test. I am not sure if I have gotten the right information as I only visited that blog twice. The blog belongs to his girlfriend by the way. And there his girlfriend is, alone and really sad, and praying for a miracle that he’d come back.
I’m going to be a soldier soon too. Two years later after getting my diploma, I’ll be in the military. For people living out of Singapore, it’s a compulsory thing that all Singaporean men aged 18 (or above if you are still pursuing your studies) to be in the army for at least twenty months. I’m scared. Not of the physical training. I’m worried that I might just die from gunshots, pushing myself against my limits, health reasons, or maybe due to supernatural. I’m afraid of death.
As much as I’m afraid death might just strike on me anytime, I’m equally as worried for my close friends. Like the five senses, they are very dear to me. I just can’t imagine days without seeing people you love badly. I want to grow old with all of them together. It would be lovely to remain in each others’ lives until we’re all gray and allow the future to descend on us all together.
Unpredictable future, we should all learn to prepare for any unforeseen circumstances. I’m thankful to live until today. But I wish to take away more oxygen from this planet. I won’t be ungrateful. I’d recompense by continuing to provide carbon dioxide for the plants to make photosynthesis happen.
Should my heart ever stop beating without advance notification and my permission, I just want to express my love for the people who have been in my life.
To my really close friends, I really love all of you. Retrieve my heart from my dead body, and you shall all see your names.
To all my family members, good luck.
To all my other friends, you have all been great, really.
To the people whom I’ve hated, I’ve been childish. Forgive me.
To Britney Jean Spears, you’ve always been a wonderful inspiration.
To the creators Pokémon, thank you! I really love every episode and the game.
With that said, please, pour me generously with all your tears when my funeral takes place. And I pray all your remorse and grieves would resurrect me. Should that method be of to no avail, visit my tomb often even if I wouldn’t get to hear you anymore.
I know it’s a little silly to type all that. But if I were to really slip away without expressing myself, I’d be really angry if I were to be alive. Death happens anywhere and anytime, I never know when it’d be my turn. So its best that you say what you want to say, do what you want to do – of course don’t go rob a bank silly. If this whole thing is silly anyway, then I’d say the whole thing about penning your wills before your death is even sillier. But wait, I don’t think I’m ridiculous at all. Hahaha!